This past weekend was my scheduled Spring mini sessions, but most were ‘un’scheduled due to the mid-winter weather we’ve been getting. Okay, well I’m from Manitoba so I know what winter weather is like and this wasn’t it… but still…I knew families with young children would want to be warm and cozy in their spring attire and the forecast has been everything BUT cozy and warm.Still….I had one couple brave the cold and go ahead with their session. Lucky for us…it turned out to be rather pretty — the rain subsided for a couple of hours and we had a great time.
I have to say though… I’m as big as a house and a full day of sessions was probably not the best of ideas. I had Colin shoot a pic of me 10 minutes before meeting my couple. Imagine 8 hours of bending over and squatting with THIS belly hanging out of ya? haha… Ya… I guess mother nature had a better plan for me on Saturday and that included laying in bed for most of the afternoon after my 20 minutes of shooting… I was winded! haha
I seriously don’t know when this baby will make it’s entrance into the world, but I’m only 36 weeks and feel like she could greet us TODAY! Izzy-Rae was breech so her head never got down far enough to make me waddle when I walk. I never moaned when turning over in bed, or needed Colin’s help off of any ‘sitting’ device… yes, that would sometimes include the toilet!!! (tmi?) My legs are like jelly. I guess everything is loosening up for labour. (tmi?) Anyways….all of this is very new and exciting, but tres, tres scary at the same time. When you have given birth via c-section you know that it’s possible to ‘skip’ labour altogether and still wind up with a baby in the end. Um… miracle… !! And the second time you get the CHOICE of doing that again?! Choice?! But in weighing the pro’s and con’s and remembering the feeling of being a little ‘jipped’ last time, we’ve decided I’ll go ahead and try for a VBAC delivery this time. If you haven’t had babies yet, this will all be a bit boring for you… you may be rolling your eyes, thinking why does every woman that becomes pregnant think that THEY are the first to go through it?… well, because that’s EXACTLY what it feels like. It really does feel like it’s never been done before. You go through 9-10 months of thinking ‘wow… i can’t believe all women DO this to have children? I can’t believe my Grandmother had SIX OF THESE things? I can’t believe my body is capable of this…’
Everybody is different in how they deal with pregnancy. I wish I was one of those women who LOVED it. And the whole time I am feeling the nausea and exhaustion and heartburn and body pain I feel guilty admitting to people that I really loathe it because oh-my-goodness, all we hope for his a healthy baby and oh-my-goodness, not all Mom’s get to experience pregnancy. My mom, for instance, tried for 8 years to get pregnant before finally adopting my oldest brother… So god forbid, I complain! But here’s the thing….. Complaining is a part of it! ha! It just is. It’s part of my birth story. Like it or not….. So many things go right in my life all the time, why would pregnancy be a breeze as well? That would be BORING….. !!! So today I’ve decided to embrace the next 4 weeks of sleepless nights, peeing every 2 minutes, waddling, braxton hicks and insanely disgusting heartburn. It’s going to make for a great story to tell my teenage girl when she’s lipping me off! I’ll tell her about the hell I went through to bring her into this world,….I’ll become my mom and cycle of life will continue. : )
After I do give birth…. this time we are taking at least a week…. hopefully more… to bond with our baby at home with as little visitors as possible. Baby’s are fabulous and joyous for the whole family, but honestly the most important time of all is the days right after we meet her. I want to be able to walk around bra-less in my house (oh yes…. I said bra-less…… breast feeding is taxxxxxing *wink*) and not worry about hosting any guests. It can be so overwhelming to have a new baby, be learning the in’s and out’s of his/her schedule, and breast feeding while trying to maintain sanity because everyone you love in the world is over oohing and ahhing him/her. For Izzy-Rae’s birth, I was very lucky to have so much help, but I do remember feeling very overwhelmed with it all. I remember feeling like I needed to be ‘on’ for my guests and most of the time I just wanted to cry — out of happiness, sadness, newness… ! It can be a lot.
It’s very common these days to put a lock on the door and hibernate for the first week of being home from the hospital and the couple of people I know who have done say it’s the best thing they’ve ever done! So we are taking our chance at it. I’m sure it won’t be embraced by all, but hey…. I have done this 36 weeks all by myself and thrown up almost every single day since I found out I was pregnant so I’m entitled to call the shots! This will most likely be my last kick at the baby can so I want to make the most of it. And because I haven’t felt as connected to this pregnancy — being busy with family, work and a 2 year old — my instincts tell me I’ll need as much alone time with new one as possible before the chaos of summer engulfs us again.
In other news, I will be taking a break in May from all things photography — I will try to post some pics here and there from old sessions and maybe a couple of personal things, but starting mid-June I’ll be back into wedding season at full throttle so look forward to seeing some BEAUTIFUL brides on the blog soon. Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Enjoy your day and I’ll do my best to do the same *wink*